She was elusive.
She was today. She was tomorrow.
She was the faintest scent of a cactus flower,
the flitting shadow of an elf owl.

We did not know what to make of her.
In our minds we tried to pin her to corkboard like a butterfly,
but the pin merely went through
and away she flew.
- Jerry Spinelli

Please view me in Firefox.

I've been reading through my archives for the first time in my entire life. All these while I've been writing, typing, composing but never did once I assume the role of a third person and read my blog as if a narrative prose. I've always been insecure about my drawing and writing I suppose; when I was in primary school, the only ones who can see and read them are the teachers who instruct me to draw or write for their classes. I remember how I always hand in my assignments face-down xD. I guess I grew up being rather insecure about people reading my brainchild especially if it's done without my knowledge. The thing is I didn't even feel my face growing hot aka getting embarassed reading through my archives, reliving what I've gone through these one and a half years. Through the deaths of my grandmother and Bambi, my Chow Chow and feeling the surge of excitement as I go through silly moments like chasing after Tan Yi Jin.

That reminds me by the way, guys, please do pray for my other grandmother who is hospitalized. We need a miracle! I mean... having both your grandmothers dying at practically the same time of the year for two consecutive year is simply a gargantuan blow on me. Please do pray for her. Thank you and may God blanket you in his abundant blessings.
Was browsing around and found pictures of us still clad in our white and green uniform. Moments back when our facial features were not so enhanced, still on the process of blossoming. Most of us were still looking for the hairstyle which best fits our features back then. It's a different kind of beauty I see now. Some of you, dear friends, have your once pure face smeared with the thick tips of eyeliners. Powdered, blushing faces looking splashed on every single photograph. Somehow, those widenned eyes which look upwards to the camera lens, closely framed by the now permed hair the shade of red or brown. The once merely slim figures are now curvaceous; no longer clad in OP or Roxy but chick brands carefully selected from the Hereen, Far East Plaza and the likes, accessorized with earrings, necklaces and even bracelets from sleek gold to chunky stones. Ah, and some of us started setting our eyes on branded goods: stitches on one's bum associated with certain brands which cost a bomb or even handbags of embossed leather named Simma. There's also the fetish of shoes, bags and everything pretty which binds our hearts imperceptibly tighter as the days roll by.
Ah yes. We're growing girls, we still are.
Now, who in the world would be obsessed enough to put three McFly's songs namely 'Obviously', 'I Wanna Hold You' and 'It's All About You' on an eternal loop and leave it undisturbed for the greater part of the day? Whoever that person is, she's just found out from this website that the bands that she's been hooked to all these years fall under pop-punk-rock. Yeap, all four of them are specifically mentioned in that website: Simple Plan, Good Charlotte, Busted and McFly. I feel home! Well, except that I can't really listen to those songs with lyrics that sound negative and cynical. So yeah...
ok...
so i'm positive about dropping my chem
which i flunked
cause i oversleep most of the quizzes!!!
and that's 4 credits gone
leaving one pauline with
all the time in the world in her hands
getting bored here
need stuff to do
on the bright side i got
time to read my books
at long last

i SO hate myself
for always oversleeping
disappointed disappointed disappointed
cant even bear to tell my parents

arrrrgh!
Man, I love Seattle! The whole panoramic view coupled with the occassional drizzle which goes away as soon as it comes is just breath-taking though it still can't get any better than SF. My trip to Seattle lasted from Wednesday morning (actually missing two flights!) up to the evening of what's officially referred to as yesterday, Sat 032506 for the 9th Generation Church Conference. Had such a smashin' good time there with the whole praise and worship, sermon and on the lighter note cute hunks such as the pastor himself. Judah Smith is really something else.

4am. better sleep now.

Ps. Chii, I haven't forgotten the milestone of your 18th birthday which I missed as I spent my time in Seattle. Wishing ya thoroughly magnificent and fulfillingly adventure-ladden years ahead filled with CQ, Keita and the one and only P.PaulineV.K.S.Z.B.L of course :). May the wind be always at your back (Go Forth With a Song - one of the songs we sang for Ms. Lai's farewell)! Friends till the end, yeah?

Oh and the last time I changed my imood.com was over a year back.
Done at long last! To think that I prioritized this so much more than my grades... at the spurt of the moment at least. I realized that my wishlist is a little well, you know, not the top of the list but... do you see what I mean? Guess that I'm really easily influenced by those whom I hang out with. Fear the naught, I'm still your same old Pauline Sugiharto. Those things I put are just the things of my wildest imagination... or under whatever mood that controlled me this morning when I was supposed to study for Chem.

Oh and this is the 5fth or something post today...

And I'm leaving for Seattle for the GC thing tomorrow at 7.30! Man, I just can't wait! The whole thing is just so exciting and if I rake my brain to find out what motivates me, I won't come with any satisfactory answer. This is gonna be my first time going to Seattle by the way. Just gotta email my teachers, supervisor and do my essays ._.
why is it that no matter what i do it's nowhere near enough sometimes it even feels that they dont even have to put any effort yet oh they do soar against all odds against all forces it just comes naturally but me i strain myself i consciously tried i really did and yet im never there never in the proximity to one of the only things that actually matter to me

shh...
you don't have a clue
dont bother guessing what's going on

Now, scamper away like the good boys and girls that you are. Remember, you didn't see a thing. Go on...
yeap, the morning of the test...
and i'm blogging

It's All About You
Mcfly
It's all about you
(It's about you)
It's all about you, baby
(It's all about you)
It's all about you
(It's about you)
It's all about you

Yesterday, you asked me something I thought you knew.
So I told you with a smile 'It's all about you'
Then you whispered in my ear and you told me to,
Say 'If you make my life worthwhile, it's all about you'

And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do.
So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles, it's all about you.
Yeah...

And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do.
So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles,
Yes you make my life worthwhile,
So I told you with a smile...
It's all about you.

[Chorus]
It's all about you
(It's about you)
It's all about you, baby
(It's all about you)
It's all about you
(It's about you)
It's all about you

Posting the lyrics up isn't quite suitable actually as it's the sweet little tune of a little bellow 3 minutes song that I craved for when I woke up minutes back. Somehow it reminds me of those mornings to which you wake up to when the sun just rises with nothing weighing your mind. Then again, maybe it's just my acoustic-guitar-in-the-morning syndrome acting up, one of these days I'm so gonna learn to play it.

And I'll fix that format whereby the comments should be visible.
Off to school now!
Update: fixed!

I SO love McFly... and UK accents are infinitely charming xD.

Oh and Pauline kalo pergi ke sekolah pagi2 tampangnya kusut udah ky tikus kecebur got. swt dah.
methinks i have a strange fascination of nighttime...

and yeap, version 4.0, updated at last.
methinks i'm stressed. i remember many dreams per night which means that i wake up in the middle of my dreams. i'm REALLY irritable. i'm sensitive as a whoknowswhat. i scowl and swear like the rudest of men. and... dude... i do have a lot to face.


anyway. tagged by chii so here's to pass on:

select 5 people to pass the love on:
chii again :D, eleanor behbeh, wan ting, iot, cinders

Here It Is: What were you doing 10 years ago?
ngg... it should be about 5 pm there, march 21st, 1996.
i was in primary 2, enjoying the carefree days of being the teacher's model student and only watch 1 tv show per day which would show in a few hours time, right after I finish my dinner - legend of the white snake for you kaypoh people out there. i would most probably be playing around the house.

5 songs that you know the lyrics right off your head:
kimi ni fureru dakede, if i stand, obviously, i'm gonna hold you, happy birthday xD

5 things you would do if you're a millionaire:
1. shop for shoes, handbags, jeans and feel good for splurging so much knowing that there's not a thing to worry about
2. get my beloved sl 55 and hire a chauffeur... and a maid too on that note
3. travel to different parts of the world each weekend with a concord plane
4. send round-trip tickets to the usa so that my dear frens can come over xD
5.

5 bad habits:
1. i'm lazy. period. (exactly the same as chii's, hope she doesn't mind)
2. i swear more than ever esp. lately
3. i get distracted ever so easily, especially when i'm running out of time and have an exam plus an undone essay coming out in 6 hours time... and another one just 3 hours after that one
4. i'm disorganized in every meaning of the word... well, except for putting the just-washed plates, cuttleries and cups in order not that it's something that can save my life
5. at times i get indulged in daydream too much for my own good

5 things i like doing:
1. reading
2. going against the wind
3. chatting, yakking, rambling
4. playing the sims & ro, embarassing as it sounds
5. building castles in the air

things i'll never buy, wear or get a new one again:
1. books that i already have... well, sometimes i do get tempted of buying new copies cause the old ones are slightly folded or whatever
2. tickets to some lousy concerts
3. anything hannah montana - she's on tv right now and i so hate that video clip of hers
4. most prolly no nokia phone
5. ngg... dvc (my school)? dude, im running out of ideas.

5 favourite toys:
1. my laptops
2. my ipod
3. my hp
4. my dark blue colored 0.7 pilot color eno mechanical pencil... generation 15th or something cause i still buy new ones everytime i lose mine
5. a hula hoop? running out of ideas too


And I took a quiz which I've actually taken back in December last year... link from Norsie's blog. Here's my result x)



Draco Malfoy
You love to look good on the arm of your man! Other people envy you, and you want the kind of guy who can keep you in style. Your champagne tastes match his exactly,


14768 other people got this result!
This quiz has been taken 334278 times.
4% of people had this result.

trophy wife? what the heck is that?
[Guru Gitar] Milliardo Peacecraft VS Trace Krushrenada says:
I'm rooting for you, berkeley-bound girl

simple little random things can boost you up.

oh and my posts are getting shorter and shorter.

mugging mode: on!
whoever: so, whatcha doing?
me: just... not sleeping.

haven't quite slept early these past few days and i have no idea why... it's not like im doing something or anything in particular. and it's not insomnia cause i don't even bother to lie down. i just don't feel tired... and definitely undisciplined.

ps. pauline sugiharto must really learn to control what she says.
i want a puppy...

woof woof

that somehow reminds me of catdog's 'the great meow-woof'. catdog is the best cartoon show to watch right before you sleep; there's something about that show that's boring + slow + monotonous + dull + slightly gross + yet still makes you want to watch.

and now that a friend pointed it out, ive just realized that i get eyebags very easily if i don't sleep well... so my idea that i constantly have eyebags all these while must go down the drain as i try my best to sleep.

it's 521am and i hafta wake up by 930. yay me.
just as everyone's soaring, clinching the unthinkable, someone's plumetting, drowning within the blasting tunes and the raging hormones...

... and how i'm not supposed to pull the blanket up, cover my head and enjoy the bit of comfort it provides.

allow me to at least say this one, will you? moulin rouge's soundtrack was recorded for me.

Phoebe Pauline Valentine Kribben Sugiharto 朱宝玲, B.S.
110888
Eldest of 3
UCSD Psychology, class of 2008
University of Cambridge, King's College, summer of 2007
TKSS, class of 2004
ICHS, class of 2006, left on 2001
San Diego, California

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Picture courtesy of Eliara.
Meticulously hand-coded by yours truly,
with much ColorSchemer tweaking fun.
(c) 012509

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